Dear Myself , 

Alhamdulillah for another year of life . You've been through a lot of things . You've been walking on your way but there some toxic people block the road . They come to ruin everything and make a chaos  . This year has been very hectic life , more challenging year and full of commitment . Surely , you feel like your life is a mess with horrendous worries weighing on your head . Uninvited thoughts creep into your mind everyday thinking about how to find the solution , how to do that , how to do this  in every decision you've made . Your life is like a roller coaster . There's ups and down . Sometimes you happy and achieve your goal . Sometimes you grieve and give up on your life . 

Last month your turn to twenty four . Time is fast . Many people try to hurt you but you pretend that it is not a big deal as long as not harming yourself . Many things happened to you but your secretly solve and persuade yourself . You don't have a boyfriend to lean on , to share everything your face . It been a while since my best friend getting married and have their on life and your family have their own problems , so that you don't want to bother them  . So you decide not tell anyone . You keep the story by your own while controling yourself from being disturbing others . 

Indeed , sometimes you are too weak to pretend that everything is going well . There's times when the things get hard and suddenly you can't hold tears to keep falls .  End up you crying as much as you can , and struggling to breathe . You keep asking The God . Why must my life like this .? Why should i be like that .? How can i be like them .? When everything will be ok and I'll be happy ? Why how and when .?

You keep mumbling " why i can't be like others . They who already have a child , a husband , a strong financial , a happy life and lack of problem . While me is still searching and pending for what actually i want in my life . What type of man that i should find .? How to get a better job ? How to manage my financial ? "

Time to reflect yourself !

Life will keep giving your problems . You can't avoid it but you can control it . Also life is not easy nor hard . Its not Why , How and When . Its you . You don't know how to grow . You did it multiple times . The main power is you and yourself . You control everything . Don't simply say "I can't do that" till you trying to do . Be brave ! Keep in your mind that you can do that easy nor hard things . No one can be in your life if you don't let them in .  

You know what ? Sometimes you need full attention from someone . Sometimes you need to facing up every challenging then you will get the satisfaction and best result . First thing first , you should remove the "black dot" on your life . Don't be a toxic or negative people . After that you can easily remove negative people in your life . Remove negative vibes and through this life with brave and courage . Nobody will not understand you . Nobody will stand to hear all your story and they never been be on your shoes . So you need to push and motivate yourself to be a better person . 

Yeaa , everything need a time . Don't rush to define the whole meaning in this life . Feel free to thankful to The God for offering your life till today . Everything has been written by Him . The hardship stays for a moment until we find a ways to stack them with gratefulness and  acceptance . Be thankful .

What a wonderful blessings that has given to us ! To live a life accordingly to our desire requires a lot of sacrifices, time and no promissing happiness  . In the middle to achieve successful , you will through so many difficult road  and make a many mistake . Then you meet many type of human . But at the end  , joy will always be waiting at the finish line .

Najwa Zebian says :

PAMPER YOUR WISHES - When you make a wish , believe that it is going to happen . Put it in your heart next to passion . Next to honesty to yourself and other . Next to humility with yourself and others . Next to consideration for yourself and others . Next to believing in yourself and others . And so that the wish will be the perfect gift when it is granted to you , wrap it from the beginning with the bow of hard work and determination . Don't ever make a wish and leave it , because it will leave you too . If you can't do anything about it , then start with your heart .Believe that you are worth that wish coming true so that you can be worthy of it .

KNOW YOUR POWER -  Just as you can't deny that you can feel love and hate , happiness and sadness , anger and ease of mind, or tiredness and relaxation . You can't deny that you have a fate that , sometimes you can't control . That doesn't mean that it takes control over you . You can't deny that you have words that need to be spoken . You can't deny that you have a choice . Yu can't deny the ability that you can say no . you can't deny the ability that you have the freedom to make a decision and defend it . You can't deny injustice when you see it , unfairness when you feel it , oppression when you witness it . Stop blaming the world around you for wronging you . Take responsibility for the nos you could have said but chose not to , the words you could have said but didn't , instead wrapping your mouth with your own hands and remaining silent against what needed to be addressed . Take responsibility for the choices you could have made but restrained yourself from taking .

Love ,
Myself